“There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honor your calling. It’s why you were born. And how you become most truly alive.” -Oprah Winfrey
Every morning for the past week and a half, I have prayed for clarity. Really prayed, with every cell of my being. And every day I have received it. In clouded moments, it arrives feeling like failure. But in the stillness of the evening, when I let go of the day’s residue and tune in to myself, I know to thank and praise clarifying circumstances because they are pushing me closer to living a more fulfilled life, no matter how uncomfortable and inconvenient it feels on the surface.
I am ready to open to the winds of change and make some shifts I’ve been too afraid to make until now. This time, I will do it. I am determined! It is a promise I have made to myself, and I’m beginning to build a support network.
Last weekend, I took specific action by committing to a three-year program of personal and transpersonal transformation that I had been resisting for years for various reasons including finances, even though the facilitator is my longtime, beloved teacher in whom I have complete trust. I was guided to talk with a woman who began the program two years ago despite having the same initial misgivings, and she assured me that the money will come. She said she doesn’t understand how it works, only that it does. Before we hung up, she said she doesn’t know what kind of sign I would need to know for certain whether or not the program is right for me, but she hoped I’d get it. However, I’d already heard and felt what I needed to and made the commitment immediately after hanging up the phone. I knew that the time finally is right to do the deep, inner work.
Yesterday morning while doing yoga, I happened to catch the pink reflection of sunrise in a window as I twisted backwards. I jumped up from my mat and dashed to the dock to photograph the colorful sky and its reflection on the river. On my way back inside, I opened the mailbox and found a check that would cover exactly two full weekends of the five-weekends-per-year program, including my share of carpool expenses. I was elated and felt the magic already was revealing itself to me because of my commitment to transformation. It was my sign.
It has been a week of tremendous clarity.
A few days ago, I heard the words, “Let it go,” spoken around me several times in different contexts – even from the mouths of my kindergartners. A wise soul once advised me to pay attention if I hear the same message three times. So I did.
That evening, a friend shared a link to Jimmy Buffet’s song, Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On, which I’d never heard before. It was exactly what I needed to shift my energy from sorrow to serenity. I’ve adopted the title as my mantra.
The same evening, another friend posted an interview with Brittany Maynard, a 29-year-old woman suffering from brain cancer who plans to take advantage of Oregon’s Death with Dignity Act and end her life on November 1st. Her words really spoke to me:
“The reason to consider life and what’s of value is to make sure you’re not missing out. Seize the day. What’s important to you? What do you care about? What matters? Pursue that. Forget the rest.” -Brittany Maynard
This morning, I awoke at 3:30 a.m. from the most real and powerful dream yet about my mom that left me feeling ecstatic and absolutely certain of the importance of engaging new possibilities and playing with life instead of being ruled by fear.
Watching my mom die has convinced me that life is too short to remain stuck in circumstances that drag us down. We can try to adjust our attitude and perception, but sometimes there’s no denying when it is time to move on. Life is a flowing river, and the work is to follow the Life Force where it flows – or as Henry David Thoreau put it:
“Dwell as near as possible to the channel in which your life flows.”
In the nearly fifty years I’ve been alive, I’ve learned a few things that have prepared me for the journey:
I’ve learned that the way I feel now isn’t how I’ll always feel. Moods come and go like clouds.
I’ve learned that spring always returns, and the sun rises every morning,
That one mindful moment, or one conscious breath, can change everything,
That when you make a full and sincere commitment, you attract the right people and circumstances out of the blue, recognize them as such, and embrace them.
And inspiration plays an important role.
Conditions one recent morning were too cloudy for me to witness the full lunar eclipse at sunrise. But I knew that someone would see it, and I would be able to experience it through his or her lens.
Somewhere someone is standing on a beach watching the sun rise over the ocean. It is happening right now even though I’m not able to see it because I’m a four-hour drive away from the coast. There is so much beauty in this world at every moment, even when we aren’t experiencing it for whatever reason. Just knowing it exists can be a lifeline that provides balance and perspective.
Somewhere someone has resolved not to be ruled by fear and limitation any longer, and this inspires me and gives me strength to follow in his or her footsteps. (And it’s why I write!)
Somewhere someone is balancing stones in seemingly impossible arrangements and, by sharing his work, is helping me to redefine what is actually possible. I am grateful for this. It opens the way for me to dream bigger.
All around the world, there are people engaging the magic and setting powerful examples by manifesting and expressing their higher purpose. We can make excuses and say they got lucky and are the exceptions; they’re somehow special. We can make all kinds of excuses that keep us locked in our comfort zone, even when it’s not so comfortable there. Or we can seize our rightful power and discover higher laws at work in our lives when we have the courage to surrender the props that support the false self that masks our magnificence. The kingdom of heaven is within.
I fully expect to be amazed and inspired on this journey and to amaze and inspire others. How often are we unwitting messengers when we share what moves and inspires us?
I used to believe that each of us entered this life with a specific purpose to fulfill, and our great work is to discover and pursue that one thing. But now I experience life as more fluid than that and suspect that our true calling is more broadly to engage our divine nature and infuse matter with spirit. Doing so elevates our life into a work of spirit and inspires others toward spiritual artistry.
“On earth, it seems that most people fret, worry, and lose sleep over some of the silliest things they’ve done. But what’s funny is that later on, from here, more often than not, it’s the things they didn’t do that they still think about. Which of course sends them back.” -A Note from the Universe
No more excuses. No regrets. It’s magic carpet time!
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