Contemplative Photography & Reflections

The Last Christmas Present

During the summer, my dad gave me some money that my mom “would have wanted me to have” after she died. I knew immediately what to do with some of it: It would be my last Christmas present from my mom. So around Thanksgiving, I bought the wide angle lens I’d been wanting for a long time but couldn’t afford on my teacher’s salary, wrapped it, and placed it in a gift bag my mom gave me last Christmas. I wasn’t around on Christmas and didn’t put up a tree or any other decorations because I just didn’t feel up to it. A few days after Christmas, I was still waiting for the right time to open it.

When this morning’s colorful sunrise interrupted a long string of gray days, I knew the time was right. I opened the present with the excitement of a child and then ran outside to use it right away and send a big thank-you into the beautiful sky.

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The idea of buying a lens “from my mom” came from a dream I had of my grandmother after she died less than four years prior. My grandmother came to me in a dream and seemed excited because she wanted to give me one last gift. I recently had been given some money from the sale of her house and woke up from the dream knowing what to do with it: I used it to buy my first “real” camera. It was probably the most important purchase I ever made because nature photography – and sharing it online – has completely transformed my life and given me a renewed sense of purpose.

And speaking of dreams…

On Christmas morning, I dreamed – twice – that my mom was picking up the phone to call me. After waking up from the dream fragment the second time, I decided to meditate. When I did, I heard my mom’s voice telling me to call a certain relative. I resolved to make the call a little later, only to hear my mom’s voice once again, saying, “NOW.” So I did. The person seemed very depressed, and I am so glad that I called when I did and passed along the story of how I ended up calling sooner rather than later. We talked about how my mom seems to communicate with us through one another.

So it seems I received two Christmas gifts from her this year. One was planned, and the other was a surprise to be shared.

The photographs in this blog (except for those attributed to other owners) and in my Flickr photostream are available for purchase as prints or cards through my Etsy shop by selecting a “custom print” in whatever size you prefer and indicating either the name of the print or the blog post and order in which it appears.

© Susan Meyer and River Bliss Photography, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material, including all text and photos, without express and written permission from this website’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Susan Meyer and River Bliss Photography (river-bliss.com) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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